Training with The Tribe: How Martial Arts Create Lasting Bonds

Guest Blog written by Master Instructor and Seventh Degree Black, Jacob Langston Everyone has heard the saying, “birds of a feather flock together,” right? It’s a simple phrase that reminds us we’re inclined to stick with people who share similar thoughts, hobbies, beliefs, or interests. While that can be a good thing, there can also be negative side effects—especially in this day and age. Relationships become strained when two or more people disagree over a small detail, and when left unresolved, this can create division instead of harmony. However, it’s my belief that practicing martial arts can not only help resolve these issues, but also strengthen connections to a level that creates lifelong, even generational, bonds.

There Is No “I” in “Team”

At first glance, training as a martial artist may seem like a solo endeavor. “I earned my belt,” or “I’m the one who won this gold medal” are phrases we’ve probably thought in our heads at some point. The simple fact is—that’s just not true. Who gave you the belt? Who did you compete against? Whether it’s a partner or an opponent, training as a martial artist requires a team. From testing in front of instructors to facing competitors with different skill sets, these people hold us accountable and keep us on the path to becoming the best version of ourselves. It’s this constant, reciprocal relationship that’s forged by putting our bodies and minds to the test.

Having the Right People in Your Tribe

Most people will read that phrase and interpret it as simply “having the best people in your tribe”—a dream team of all-stars, so to speak. While having highly talented training partners on the mats is a positive, it’s not sustainable without a common interest and connection. Sure, martial arts is the link that brings everyone into class, but there are deeper reasons or ways as to why lasting relationships are built.

• Shared Struggle and Growth: Training partners sweat, push, and overcome challenges side by side. Facing tough drills, sparring rounds, or fitness circuits together builds mutual respect, and you get to watch each other improve daily.

• Sparring as a Connection Tool: While sparring can look like a fight, it’s really a conversation. Respectful sparring teaches give-and-take, humility, and sportsmanship. Many martial artists say some of their closest friends are the very people they’ve traded punches and kicks with.

• Off-the-Mat Bonding: Hanging out after practice, grabbing a meal together, or traveling to tournaments builds friendships beyond training. Laughing over inside jokes, supporting each other’s families, and showing up for life events deepens those ties.

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

Sometimes, we need to step out of our comfort zone and throw ourselves into situations that feel unfamiliar. That discomfort creates challenges to overcome, and with the right pressure and the right people, coal can turn into diamonds. As someone who’s trained in martial arts for the majority of my life, this is a truth I still need to be reminded of from time to time.

A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of training at a two-day seminar hosted by Warrior’s Way in Wichita Falls, TX. On day two, we started with a drill that was right on the edge of my comfort zone. Just as I thought I had it nailed down with my partner from my studio, we had to switch to a new partner—someone I wasn’t familiar with. My nerves flared up, and as a career martial artist, I felt out of my depth for the first time in a long while. I switched to another partner, then another, then another. However, each person I drilled with was friendly, knowledgeable, and encouraging. By the time we wrapped up, I had met five new people, learned five new drills, and gotten countless reps with fresh information. I realized I just needed to get out of my own way, put my pride aside, and embrace the challenge. That experience turned my discomfort into growth—a piece of coal into a diamond.

Finding Your People

Training alongside likeminded, talented, and knowledgeable people is one of the greatest advantages of being part of a martial arts studio. Surrounding yourself with peers who share your drive keeps motivation high, while working with skilled training partners pushes you to sharpen your own abilities. Knowledgeable instructors and teammates create an environment where questions are answered, techniques are refined, and growth is accelerated.

This is the atmosphere that David Vincent’s Martial Arts strives to build—a community that fuels your progress on the mats and creates lasting bonds off of them.

Written by: Jacob Langston